My days went nice as what expected. Update, I’m still unemployed; exploring the side that I have. From a couple of days, I drowned myself doing some illustrations, tweaking my not so interesting blog, watching series and drinking tons of water. I planned to have a mini work-out every day but still, stayed as plan. The days are moving so fast… I got stuck with anxious and anxiety; I’m dreaded with fear of not having a job before the year end. The year is halfway there, I’m waiting for chances and fruit for my hardwork. I’m scared of not fulfilling my written dreams at head, I’m scared of not getting my list from my notes.

Reality is… The nervousness and anxiety are being brought because of the pressure that I built for myself. I’m ambitious of having things that maybe possible of getting and made me realized that I’m not prepared yet. The baggage that aren’t just dreams and ambitions for myself but also for the people that surround me are bugging my heart and keeping my breath away.  I’m aware that success isn’t always as quick as thunder bolt or as fast as racing cars. Success is like a rare diamond that great effort must be given in earning it; success is like vegetables that u need to plant first and wait for the right time for harvest season. The idea is clear to me, everyone could know and learn that from everything but reality, there are things that easy to enunciate but difficult to put on.

What I want to learn right now is to apply my lovely midnight realization. Everyone isn’t capable of realizing on what to do in every step that they are doing, everyone couldn’t overview the scenario that they are facing. I’m lucky that “sometimes” I could see the flow of the stream clearer; I could paint the color better. But real thing, I want to learn how to put my thought in perspective; I want to see the world lighter.

10:57 PM


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